im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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