Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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