I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
