I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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