the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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