Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
