Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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