I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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