I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
