Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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