I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
