I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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