Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you didnt know i had herpes?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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