Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
