she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
