very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
