at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
