I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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