Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
