She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
