My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
