why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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