My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
