I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
