That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
