the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
