So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
