Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
