you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
