i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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