so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Randomize
