I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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