Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Less talking, more tequila
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
