Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
