I understand Curling. That high.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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