you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
