Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
