he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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