My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
false alarm. still invincible.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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