He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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