was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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