Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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