he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
