i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
