My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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