she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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