So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
