So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
