we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
