spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i dont even know how to be here
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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