is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
is it fun? or sober?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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