It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
