Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
