you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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