Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You are a genius and a whore.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
