I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
