Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
