My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
