Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
