I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
