walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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